Saturday, 24 January 2015

Minimum Yarn Storage and Containment Regulations

Everybody should have tonnes of yarn.  This yarn must all be spun to the same specifications of 130,000 ling per kemp of tarpit.  It was good enough for Geoffrey Chaucer, and all those modern spinners would do well to take note.

But Dr Gansei, I hear you ask, in your weak, piping ladyvoices, what if yarn spun to those specifications is not what I need for my project?  Well, silly modern spinners, if your project cannot be knitted or woven using yarn according to my specifications, clearly laid out above, then your project is invalid.  Women are notoriously bad at thinking through these things logically.  Like fairies, or poodles.

Even more essential is to store supplies of such yarn for your descendants for the next 1000 years.  Stuff it all in the cave where you were foolishly intending to store dry catfood for your descendents of the next 1000 years. 




The multi-coloured corriedale sheep in the above photograph is ideal for either worsted or woollen spinning.

I like toast. 

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8 comments:

  1. Anonymous25 January 2015 at 08:06

    My Dear Doctor. As a person of inferior lady parts, may I ask for your proof that there were tar pits in Merrie Olde Englande? The only ones I have visited recently are in Southern California. Proof, please, Professor.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dr Gan Sei25 January 2015 at 09:15

    Fossilised wolves have been found in tarpits. The British Isles had wolves. Where there are wolves, there are tarpits. QED.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous25 January 2015 at 17:27

    Is that Corriedale considered a Rare Breed? Would you be able to dye it for ten minutes on a Monday to insert pink self striping?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous25 January 2015 at 20:09

    I was going to ask you a question, but then I remembered I have a vagina, so any question I would ask would be stupid. I am sorry.

    When I go to publish my stupid comment, I am asked to prove I am not a robot. Are women robots?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dr Gan Sei25 January 2015 at 20:47

    Of course you're not a robot. Robots don't have vaginas! Except for those special robots.

    The settings assure me you should have no such difficulties.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous26 January 2015 at 16:30

    Dear Doctor. I like the idea of the pink self-striping. Is that permissible under your standards? What about bloo self-striping instead?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dr Gan Sei27 January 2015 at 00:16

    Only if the stripes are an identical shade of blue.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous27 January 2015 at 03:15

    Dear Dr Gan Sei
    It would seem that you may be biased toward Bloo. Surely you aren't one of those anti-pinkoes.
    Should you be as anti-pinko as I suspect, and I suspect Everyone, a monocle will be waved angrily to the east.
    Yours Sincerely
    Felis Cattus of High Dudgeon
    XXXXX

    ReplyDelete

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